Don't Marry Me
Four very lovely ladies sat in a circle in a room. All of them were discussing the downsides of marriage, and how two of them had to marry soon, per their father's orders. Princesses Peach and Zelda were not above wanting to be married, even though both of them had the potential suitor. All of them thought marriage was an excuse for men to have command over a woman.
Feminism does that, sometimes.
Samus and Reenie were lucky. Even though Reenie was a princess as well, she wasn't a princess of a kingdom per se. She wasn't required to marry for the sake of sons and daughters for the throne. She was the daughter of a dead goddess, and her heritage was long lost.
Samus was a bounty hunter. If she was going to marry, it would be by choice alone. Everyone highly doubted that Samus would marry, however, due to her nature with people. It was no surprise that her suitor was Snake, a man of few words but of plenty of grenades. He wasn't one to give in to commitment. At least not completely.
All the girls had suitors, although they were happy with calling them boyfriends. Zelda had Pit: a handsome angel who was well experienced with a bow and double swords. The light angel was also Reenie's cousin.
Peach had Ike. Ike was yet another man of few words, rather blunt but a very powerful mercenary. He had plenty of passion and he cared for Peach greatly. Peach had no doubt he was a fine boyfriend, but he loved the thrill of a journey far more then he loved a lifelong commitment.
And Reenie had Link. The hero of twilight had smitten to her when they met and they cared about one another very much. He was protective and dedicated, but Reenie was worried a lifelong dedication might change his mind. After all, men were hard to trust sometimes. All the girls were careful with their boyfriends. No one wanted to be hurt.
Zelda and Peach were talking about the ugliest men who had approached their fathers about marrying them. Samus and Reenie were listening, laughing at the description of the men and laughing harder at the gifts they had brought the princesses.
"It was so awful," Zelda said. "This is how it went..." the Hylian Princess stood up and played a few notes on the nearby piano.
"Marry me, he said, through his rotten teeth, bad breath and then...
Marry me instead of the strapping young goatherd, but when
I was in his bed and my father had sold me I knew
I hadn't any choice, hushed my voice, did what any girl would do!"
The girls laughed at the idea of an ugly man hoping to win over Zelda by convincing her to be with him instead of Pit. Reenie decided to pick up on the next bit.
"And when I'm beheaded, at least I was wedded!
And when I am buried, at least I was married!
I'll hide my behaviour with wine as my savior!"
"But Oh! What beautiful things I'll wear!
What beautiful dresses and hair!
I'm lucky to share his bed!
Especially since I'll soon be dead!" Peach sang the chorus with such a sweetly sarcastic tone. All the girls began humming a certain tune with Zelda's piano notes. Peach took over the next verse to describe HER encounter.
"Marry me, he said. God he's ugly, but fortune is ours.
Roaming in the gardens, enjoying men, women and flowers.
Then I break a glass and I slit my own innermost thighs
So I can pretend that I'm menstre- well unavailable!"
Reenie fell to the floor laughing at Peach's little trick of avoiding coupling with an ugly man. Samus and Zelda were grinning, each taking a mental note of how to avoid sex with an unwanted bed visitor. Samus decided to pick up the next bit, a part she found really amusing.
"My life is arranged, but this union's deranged!
So I'll fuck who I choose, for I've nothing to lose!
And when Master's displeased, I'll be down on my knees again!"
"But oh! What beautiful things I'll wear!
What beautiful dresses and hair!
I'm lucky to share his bed!
Especially since I'll soon be dead!" Zelda added the chorus to Samus's conclusion. All four girls were laughing their hardest yet, especially Samus's plan to go through life, fucking everyone if her husband mistreats her. Reenie grabbed her violin and began playing an instrumental piece with Zelda's piano notes.
"When dining on peacock, I know I won't swallow
Through balls, births and bridge games, I know what will follow!
We've coupled together, through hell hurt and hunger,
Or at least until husband FINDS SOMEONE YOUNGER!" Reenie sang, emphasizing that last bit loudly.
"Yes, fertilization is part of my station.
I laugh as he grabs me in anticipation!
Of sons who will run things when I'm under covers.
But who's children are they? Why mine and my lover's!" Samus gave a great sarcastic feel to her verse. The music paused for one second, then started up again.
"But oh, what beautiful things I'll wear!
What beautiful dresses and hair!
I'm lucky to share his bed!
Especially since I'll soon be dead!" Peach sang. But it wasn't quite finished.
"What beautiful things I'll wear!" Zelda sang.
"What beautiful dresses and hair!" Peach belted out.
"I'm lucky to share his bed!" Samus remarked with even more sarcasm.
"Oh why do I wish I was...?" Reenie finished off the song with a nice touch. Zelda finished the notes and turned to look at her girl friends.
"Well, girls, what do all of us say about marriage?"
"That ugly men aren't worthy for marriage!" Peach said.
"That dresses and flowers aren't a good way to prove love," Samus remarked.
"That men will probably go looking for a younger woman as soon as we're old and grey," Reenie said, triumphantly. She produced a tray with four glasses of wine from behind her. "Red wine, ladies?"
"Yes indeed," the girls each took a glass and clinked their drinks together. "Here's to a happy friendship the four of us have and here's hoping none of us succumb to the dangers of marriage!" Zelda said. The four lovely ladies drank their wine down. A thrilling conclusion to another get together between four friends.
Feminism does that, sometimes.
Samus and Reenie were lucky. Even though Reenie was a princess as well, she wasn't a princess of a kingdom per se. She wasn't required to marry for the sake of sons and daughters for the throne. She was the daughter of a dead goddess, and her heritage was long lost.
Samus was a bounty hunter. If she was going to marry, it would be by choice alone. Everyone highly doubted that Samus would marry, however, due to her nature with people. It was no surprise that her suitor was Snake, a man of few words but of plenty of grenades. He wasn't one to give in to commitment. At least not completely.
All the girls had suitors, although they were happy with calling them boyfriends. Zelda had Pit: a handsome angel who was well experienced with a bow and double swords. The light angel was also Reenie's cousin.
Peach had Ike. Ike was yet another man of few words, rather blunt but a very powerful mercenary. He had plenty of passion and he cared for Peach greatly. Peach had no doubt he was a fine boyfriend, but he loved the thrill of a journey far more then he loved a lifelong commitment.
And Reenie had Link. The hero of twilight had smitten to her when they met and they cared about one another very much. He was protective and dedicated, but Reenie was worried a lifelong dedication might change his mind. After all, men were hard to trust sometimes. All the girls were careful with their boyfriends. No one wanted to be hurt.
Zelda and Peach were talking about the ugliest men who had approached their fathers about marrying them. Samus and Reenie were listening, laughing at the description of the men and laughing harder at the gifts they had brought the princesses.
"It was so awful," Zelda said. "This is how it went..." the Hylian Princess stood up and played a few notes on the nearby piano.
"Marry me, he said, through his rotten teeth, bad breath and then...
Marry me instead of the strapping young goatherd, but when
I was in his bed and my father had sold me I knew
I hadn't any choice, hushed my voice, did what any girl would do!"
The girls laughed at the idea of an ugly man hoping to win over Zelda by convincing her to be with him instead of Pit. Reenie decided to pick up on the next bit.
"And when I'm beheaded, at least I was wedded!
And when I am buried, at least I was married!
I'll hide my behaviour with wine as my savior!"
"But Oh! What beautiful things I'll wear!
What beautiful dresses and hair!
I'm lucky to share his bed!
Especially since I'll soon be dead!" Peach sang the chorus with such a sweetly sarcastic tone. All the girls began humming a certain tune with Zelda's piano notes. Peach took over the next verse to describe HER encounter.
"Marry me, he said. God he's ugly, but fortune is ours.
Roaming in the gardens, enjoying men, women and flowers.
Then I break a glass and I slit my own innermost thighs
So I can pretend that I'm menstre- well unavailable!"
Reenie fell to the floor laughing at Peach's little trick of avoiding coupling with an ugly man. Samus and Zelda were grinning, each taking a mental note of how to avoid sex with an unwanted bed visitor. Samus decided to pick up the next bit, a part she found really amusing.
"My life is arranged, but this union's deranged!
So I'll fuck who I choose, for I've nothing to lose!
And when Master's displeased, I'll be down on my knees again!"
"But oh! What beautiful things I'll wear!
What beautiful dresses and hair!
I'm lucky to share his bed!
Especially since I'll soon be dead!" Zelda added the chorus to Samus's conclusion. All four girls were laughing their hardest yet, especially Samus's plan to go through life, fucking everyone if her husband mistreats her. Reenie grabbed her violin and began playing an instrumental piece with Zelda's piano notes.
"When dining on peacock, I know I won't swallow
Through balls, births and bridge games, I know what will follow!
We've coupled together, through hell hurt and hunger,
Or at least until husband FINDS SOMEONE YOUNGER!" Reenie sang, emphasizing that last bit loudly.
"Yes, fertilization is part of my station.
I laugh as he grabs me in anticipation!
Of sons who will run things when I'm under covers.
But who's children are they? Why mine and my lover's!" Samus gave a great sarcastic feel to her verse. The music paused for one second, then started up again.
"But oh, what beautiful things I'll wear!
What beautiful dresses and hair!
I'm lucky to share his bed!
Especially since I'll soon be dead!" Peach sang. But it wasn't quite finished.
"What beautiful things I'll wear!" Zelda sang.
"What beautiful dresses and hair!" Peach belted out.
"I'm lucky to share his bed!" Samus remarked with even more sarcasm.
"Oh why do I wish I was...?" Reenie finished off the song with a nice touch. Zelda finished the notes and turned to look at her girl friends.
"Well, girls, what do all of us say about marriage?"
"That ugly men aren't worthy for marriage!" Peach said.
"That dresses and flowers aren't a good way to prove love," Samus remarked.
"That men will probably go looking for a younger woman as soon as we're old and grey," Reenie said, triumphantly. She produced a tray with four glasses of wine from behind her. "Red wine, ladies?"
"Yes indeed," the girls each took a glass and clinked their drinks together. "Here's to a happy friendship the four of us have and here's hoping none of us succumb to the dangers of marriage!" Zelda said. The four lovely ladies drank their wine down. A thrilling conclusion to another get together between four friends.
